I don’t think I have ever let on exactly how in the know I am when it comes to celebs. It’s not that I worship at the altar of celebrity, far from it. But I have always loved to read the gossip mags (or “women’s magazines” as they’re sometimes called), and whatever my opinion on whoever it is that I am reading about, my memory seems to retain quite a bit. Yes, it seems that the information that most easily and reliably sticks in my brain is exactly the useless trivia that serves no purpose whatsoever. At least not until I appear on some game show. I can tell you the names of all their kids, exes, and movies, know who was nominated for what award in what year, what movie it was for and if they won. Yet I am still not as bad as a cousin who used to call me up and instead of hello, would start the conversation with “So what do you think of Tom and Penelope? Real or a set up?”. Btw, I still remember one headline about them that cracked us both up: “Cruise Cruising The Cruz.” I’m serious, you can’t make this shit up.
So, since I know for a fact that the likes of Angelina, Jessica, Gwen, Anne, et all never miss a post of mine I thought I would dedicate this one to them.
First up is a lady of whom I’ve never had any opinion one way or another, Denise Richards. But I was very touched to read that she has voluntarily accepted custody of her ex Charlie Sheen’s twin sons with Brooke Mueller, after the boys mother relinquished custody to sort out her drug problems. Far more interesting and much less impressive is the fact that their father isn’t interested in custody himself, in fact he has never sought it. Good on ya Denise. Even though just a few pages later on the “stars who keep getting thinner” story you insisted that your lean sinewy arms are from lugging around a chunky baby. Sorry but I say bullshit. I had three very hefty sons, and my arms never looked like yours.
Can I say that little Harper Beckham is just about the cutest little girl ever?
To all the ever shrinking female stars please stop kidding yourselves. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but no one believes you look like that because of a). your fast metabolism, b). diet and exercise, or c). stress. You look like that because you are hungry and malnourished. Full. Stop.
Big congratulations to Keira Knightley on tying the knot in France recently. What impressed me most was her small, simple idea of a fun wedding. A knee length frock, ballet flats, and flowers in her hair made for my favourite celebrity bride ever. Best of all, it was all designed for her by Mr Lagerfeld himself. And followed by a low key party at her home in the French countryside. As you do.
I have always liked Aussie actress Pia Miranda, but was a bit annoyed with a comment made by her in a recent interview announcing her second pregnancy. After mentioning that her first labour was “old school” (I’ll assume that means vaginal), she went on to say that she would probably “have a ceasarean”, depending on how big the baby is “and stuff”. Umm… wtf?
I’m going to come out in support of Kim Kardashian for a minute. Picking on a pregnant woman and constantly calling her fat is just being a mean old bully. She is obviously not of the Peaches Geldof school of pregnant bodies, and in a sea of nothing-but-belly pregnant celebs she actually looks like a very ordinary, a.k.a. heavier-than-usual, mother to be. It would be truly awful to face so much unkind scrutiny at a time you already feel vulnerable, and struggling to deal with a suddenly alien body. I understand the argument that she lives her life publicly and must take the good with the bad, but there is no excusing the nastiness. Big boobs, bum, and hips are all pretty standard during pregnancy as far as I’m concerned.
I was going to comment on the never ending saga that is Rihanna and Chris Brown, but since they have split (again), and since I don’t want to waste any time on a person who beats his girlfriend, I’m not going to bother.
In a totally random observation, how is it that Julianne Moore just keeps looking better (without looking artificial or plastic) the older she gets? As for that hair…swoon.
Thanks for indulging my love of a little trashy Hollywood gossip. I didn’t even mention Lindsay Lohan…
See you next time,