For this week’s Flashback Friday link up with Cathy at The Camera Chronicles I thought that I might take a trip down memory lane and share with all of you some of the funny, silly, and just plain dumb things my kids have done over the years. I have their full blessing (okay, more like a grudging acceptance), and I should also add that as a result there will be no actual photos. Although when you read some of the stories you will realise that’s a good thing.
So in no particular order, and without naming anyone (so as to protect the guilty and now embarrassed), here are some of the highlights.
*The time one child decided it would be fun to act out a cooking show. On the couch. After cleaning up after dinner I had gone to jump in the shower and left Husband with the kids. I told him to keep an eye on them. I should have noted that he was on the phone, engrossed in a conversation with his cousin about the previous weekend’s English Premier League results. So engrossed that he didn’t notice the child who went to the pantry, grabbed a litre bottle of olive oil, walked straight past his father, and then proceeded to pour said oil all over the armchair. (The fabric armchair, not leather in case you were wondering).
*The time two children managed to find themselves unsupervised in the garage. One of them decided to tip half a bag of tile grout powder all over the other’s head. Naturally the child whose head was covered in white powder started crying, at which point the powder, now having being mixed with water, turned to grout. In his eyes. And lashes. Where was I? In the shower. It was about seven in the morning, and what a great start to the day. We ended up racing to the doctor, where he had to pick out all the grout and flush his eyes.
*Around this time another favourite thing was to write their names everywhere. By everywhere I mean on the timber skirting boards, their timber beds, the garage walls, and the backyard fence. Did I mention they preferred to use permanent marker? The best part is we always assumed that whose ever name was written was the culprit. We have since learned that one clever child was writing their siblings name for precisely that reason.
*There was the genius who thought it would be a good laugh to throw himself bodily at the walls. To entertain their cousins at a family get together, one of my children stuffed pillows into their clothes, took a run off down the hallway, then hurled them self at the patch of wall at the end. Repeatedly. Which would have been fine, and would have remained undiscovered if they hadn’t managed to crack the wall.
*There’s no hiding identities with this next one, but since at least two of them piss themselves laughing whenever this one gets mentioned I can’t resist sharing it. Two of my sons decided it would be funny to teach their sister that she should pee standing up like they did. Not a hard sell since she adored them. (Note the past tense). They also told her she should do it outside, in the backyard.
*The child who somehow broke his mobile phone (still not sure how to this day), then hatched an elaborate cover-up. He managed to keep it a secret for at least a month, then gave some ridiculous story. Then changed it to an even more ridiculous story after we didn’t believe him. Then decided to “admit” it had been the work of a school bully. Then there was mention of stolen SIM cards, and I’m not even sure what else anymore…
*One of my favourite of all time was the child who decided to impress (i.e. stalk) a girl he had a crush on at school by singing a song for her. Romantic? Wait til you hear the rest before deciding. He chose to sing Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” to her in the middle of the school playground at lunch time. He also enlisted his brother to act as back up behind him, bouncing up and down while waving his arms around. She was not impressed. (Neither was her Mum, who obviously has no sense of humour and asked me to tell my son to “back off”. They were ten).
There have been various stories I am reluctant to admit to (something about pissing in a barrel of monkeys), and of course one of the joys of parenting is that they like to reveal some of the dumber things long after the statute of limitations has expired. And what about me you ask?
There was one incident when I was eight in which we tried to hit passing cars with peach stones, and much later an “incident” at a school camp involving alcohol and a suspension. Other than that I was a perfectly well behaved child
Now please, make me feel a bit better and tell me: what’s the craziest thing your child has ever done?