Balancing Act

Posted in Blogging, Family, Life, Parenting by

I guess you could say that I have the tendency to get a little obsessive.

Which can be fine when it’s being obsessed with making the perfect macarons, trying a new recipe every day, or exploring new cuisines. I once had the exact same breakfast every morning for about four years. (Yes, I have a lot of obsessions that revolve around food). If I ever got obsessed with having the cleanest house in the world I’m sure no-one would ever complain, and obsessing about having a perfectly ordered kitchen isn’t a problem either. Discovering a new band and then listening to them obsessively every day for six and a half years might be a little annoying but there are iPods for that and I’m usually alone in the car, so that’s okay too. Refusing to miss one of their gigs, or those of the lead singer (now solo), is also cool because my Husband loves their music too and is always up for some live music.

See? This is when obsession pays off.

See? This is when obsession pays off.

Then there are the obsessions that can sometimes be a little problematic. Namely one in particular. I have mentioned previously that I got so absorbed in blogging about my life that I felt I was almost forgetting to enjoy it, to really live it and be present. Then there was the post in which I referred to some people in my life who I felt had hurt me, and to say that has caused major problems is a massive understatement. While I don’t regret that post, (despite it being referred to as “a verbal spray disguised as a blog”), was this the place to light that particular fuse?

So in trying to find just the right balance I find myself asking: how much is too much?

One positive example of obsessing that comes to mind is my continued fascination with all things pregnancy, birth, and the amazing creature that is the newborn. I have reluctantly, and very sadly, accepted that I will never be a midwife, yet I continue to buy and read midwifery and obstetrics textbooks. Yes, I said textbooks. Though when I look back at the birth of my youngest child, it was an obsession that seems to have paid off when I was blessed with the opportunity to have the exact birth experience I wanted. I don’t mean simply natural over intervention or anything that broad. I’m talking the exact day, the exact time of his birth, the contractions beginning exactly at the hour that I wanted them to. Picturing in my mind, from the second the stick turned positive, catching his warm chubby little body with my own hands. Pushing the midwives hands away to do just that. Was I obsessed? I guess every pregnant woman thinks more and more about the birth the closer it gets, but I spent countless hours picturing it. So yeah, I’d call that obsessed.

How can you not be obsessed with this? The closest we ever get to perfection. Just one hour old.

How can you not be obsessed with this? The closest we ever get to perfection. Just one hour old.

What about being obsessed with being the perfect parent? Does such a thing even exist? According to the endless stream of books, magazines, blogs, and “experts”, the answer seems to be yes. As long as you follow their advice, buy their books or magazines, and are happy ticking points off a very long list. Are we, as a society, obsessively over-thinking parenting? Without question. Just the fact that there are descriptions such as “tiger” parents and “helicopter” parents indicates that things are getting ridiculous. The term “mummy bloggers”, recently joined by growing numbers of “daddy bloggers”, would indicate that our fascination with how we are raising our children is growing more all the time. (I wonder who will be the first “baby blogger”?) How on earth did our ancestors manage to raise intelligent, well adjusted children without Dr Spock telling them what was okay? It’s little wonder that the grandparents of today will talk about the way their grandchildren are being raised while wearing a very wry smile. Just the other day a new first time grandmother I met seemed genuinely baffled by the notion that her month old grandson needs a $150 bouncer (rocker). Or that his mother read to him while in utero. (The baby being in utero that is, not the mother. Obviously.) And I’m not sure that the never ending raft of information aimed at helping us raise better children is all that helpful. Does it give us the occasional nugget of helpful advice? Certainly. Does it more often give us anxiety, especially as first time parents? Definitely. Is it all insanely obsessive? For sure.

In a perfect world we would balance things… well… perfectly. But it’s not a perfect world after all, so we spend hours on social media when we should be cleaning the house, we work long hours to build a better life for the children that we suddenly have very little time to spend with, or we spend hours perfecting a macaron when we should really be blogging about it. ;-)

I have been getting better at it all lately though. I have been very conscious of devoting more time to us as a family, even if it’s just watching a movie together or having a chat on the porch while catching some Autumn sun. And it feels really good. It’s also interesting to note that when I step away from social media for some time, I can’t help noticing how boring it really is.

So, to sum up. Food obsessions: okay. Anything that makes you feel guilty: not good.

So go have a macaron or two with your loved ones. Everything else can wait.

I promise.

Ana. X.

It’s Young Talent Time!

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I actually started writing another post for this week’s Flashback Friday link up with Cathy at The Camera Chronicles, but then somewhere along the way it changed into this instead. The other day I heard Mr 4 singing the theme song to a very old tv show that I used to love as a child. Which was just the inspiration I needed for a little flashback. But then as I was writing it I remembered what my real favorite TV show was. The one that it was uncool to like after the age of about 12. The one that I used to cry for if I had to miss it.

Young Talent Time. Or just YTT to the dedicated.

YTT was an Australian talent show (der), hosted by Johnny Young, which aired from 1971 to 1988. There was a group of about ten talented young people (the young talent team), ranging in ages from about eight to sixteen. Then at sixteen they would graduate with a big send off (and many tears) , making way for a newcomer the next week. I guess it was a very old fashioned kind of variety show, even though they mostly just sang and danced. There were also special guests each week. Some of the biggest names in Australian entertainment came from the show, and you still see many of the old faces pop up all over the place.

So. That’s what it was all about. But why did I love it so much?

It probably had to do with the combination of seeing children my own age, in my own country, talking just like me and not with a funny accent, getting to sing songs in cool outfits. They all looked like ordinary kids, and I guess that somewhere in my young mind there was the sense that anything was possible. (And if you had the time, money, and could convince your parents, there were the Johnny Young Talent Schools to help you along).

There was also the appearance that they were a close group of friends. (Actually, turns out there were more than a few teenage romances behind the scenes ;-) )

My favourite cast members, circa 1986. www.aussiefinder.com

My favourite cast members, circa 1986.
http://www.aussiefinder.com

It used to be on TV every Saturday night at 6.30, which was often a cause for much freaking out as my parents often made plans for us to be out visiting various family and friends on a Saturday night. And naturally they would always plan to leave the house right at 6.30. There were many times I pleaded that they wait an hour (to no avail), the plea that we only visit homes where they also had kids who would be watching (oh the horror of visiting someone, asking if they wanted to watch it, and seeing them roll their eyes in disgust), and the fervent hope each and every week that we could just bloody well stay home. Although on a positive note, they got all the Saturday-night visiting out of their system by the time 21 JumpStreet took over my Saturdays. ;-)

Each episode would finish with Johnny Young singing (rather, crooning) The Beatles “All My Loving” as a good night, with the YTT team oohhh-ing for accompaniment. At which point my week would be at it’s highest point, and I could dream for another week of one day convincing my Mum to sign me up for the talent school so I could have a shot at ending up part of the team. I won’t go into detail on exactly how devastated I was when Dannii Minogue had her send off, or how insane I went when her sister Kylie joined her on YTT for a singalong. I will mention that I was beside myself when I saw the YTT live show at the Sydney Entertainment Centre somewhere around 1987. To be breathing the same air as Vince, Dannii, and Natalie!!!!!!!

Here is some classic YTT from 1986, my peak year of loving the show. But can I just say, I can’t believe how out of time their dancing is?

And here is an example of how the closing number went. Though there were usually no dogs.

Was there a TV show you wouldn’t leave the house for?

See you next time folks,

Ana. X

Gossip Grrrl

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I don’t think I have ever let on exactly how in the know I am when it comes to celebs. It’s not that I worship at the altar of celebrity, far from it. But I have always loved to read the gossip mags (or “women’s magazines” as they’re sometimes called), and whatever my opinion on whoever it is that I am reading about, my memory seems to retain quite a bit. Yes, it seems that the information that most easily and reliably sticks in my brain is exactly the useless trivia that serves no purpose whatsoever. At least not until I appear on some game show. I can tell you the names of all their kids, exes, and movies, know who was nominated for what award in what year, what movie it was for and if they won. Yet I am still not as bad as a cousin who used to call me up and instead of hello, would start the conversation with “So what do you think of Tom and Penelope? Real or a set up?”. Btw, I still remember one headline about them that cracked us both up: “Cruise Cruising The Cruz.” I’m serious, you can’t make this shit up.

So, since I know for a fact that the likes of Angelina, Jessica, Gwen, Anne, et all never miss a post of mine I thought I would dedicate this one to them.

First up is a lady of whom I’ve never had any opinion one way or another, Denise Richards. But I was very touched to read that she has voluntarily accepted custody of her ex Charlie Sheen’s twin sons with Brooke Mueller, after the boys mother relinquished custody to sort out her drug problems. Far more interesting and much less impressive is the fact that their father isn’t interested in custody himself, in fact he has never sought it. Good on ya Denise. Even though just a few pages later on the “stars who keep getting thinner” story you insisted that your lean sinewy arms are from lugging around a chunky baby. Sorry but I say bullshit. I had three very hefty sons, and my arms never looked like yours.

Can I say that little Harper Beckham is just about the cutest little girl ever?

To all the ever shrinking female stars please stop kidding yourselves. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but no one believes you look like that because of a). your fast metabolism, b). diet and exercise, or c). stress. You look like that because you are hungry and malnourished. Full. Stop.

Big congratulations to Keira Knightley on tying the knot in France recently. What impressed me most was her small, simple idea of a fun wedding. A knee length frock, ballet flats, and flowers in her hair made for my favourite celebrity bride ever. Best of all, it was all designed for her by Mr Lagerfeld himself. And followed by a low key party at her home in the French countryside. As you do.

I have always liked Aussie actress Pia Miranda, but was a bit annoyed with a comment made by her in a recent interview announcing her second pregnancy. After mentioning that her first labour was “old school” (I’ll assume that means vaginal), she went on to say that she would probably “have a ceasarean”, depending on how big the baby is “and stuff”. Umm… wtf?

I’m going to come out in support of Kim Kardashian for a minute. Picking on a pregnant woman and constantly calling her fat is just being a mean old bully. She is obviously not of the Peaches Geldof school of pregnant bodies, and in a sea of nothing-but-belly pregnant celebs she actually looks like a very ordinary, a.k.a. heavier-than-usual, mother to be. It would be truly awful to face so much unkind scrutiny at a time you already feel vulnerable, and struggling to deal with a suddenly alien body. I understand the argument that she lives her life publicly and must take the good with the bad, but there is no excusing the nastiness. Big boobs, bum, and hips are all pretty standard during pregnancy as far as I’m concerned.

I was going to comment on the never ending saga that is Rihanna and Chris Brown, but since they have split (again), and since I don’t want to waste any time on a person who beats his girlfriend, I’m not going to bother.

In a totally random observation, how is it that Julianne Moore just keeps looking better (without looking artificial or plastic) the older she gets? As for that hair…swoon.

Thanks for indulging my love of a little trashy Hollywood gossip. I didn’t even mention Lindsay Lohan…

See you next time,

Ana. X

F*** The Pajamas And Slippers

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As you may have figured out from the title of the post, this is a different kind of Mothers Day gift guide. No cliched pajamas, slippers, or lame CD’s to be found anywhere. Now obviously I am not suggesting that we Mums are not thrilled to receive the cards and gifts our children make for us, be it at school or at home. And I understand that there are probably lots of Mums who are honestly very happy to unwrap PJ’s and slippers. Or even a Michael Buble CD (shudder). No, this post is aimed at the lazy and unimaginative folks who decide what to put in the Mothers Day catalogues that flood our mailboxes at this time of year. So this is my own gift guide based on the things I would actually like to receive, and the assumption that there may just be a few like-minded mamas out there. (Even though I think the whole idea of Mothers Day has morphed into just another excuse for consumer over consumption and am happy with a nice lunch that I don’t have to cook myself. But let’s move on shall we?)

Tickets.

It’s no secret that I love a good (small) live gig. No stadium show can beat standing so close to your favourite singer that you can read the set list and know what song is next. Sure, you’re reading it upside down, but read it you can. You can even pinch it after the gig if you’re quick enough (and step on a few toes in the process). I’m sure there are many Mums who would be happy with receiving their Mothers Day present either a little early or late if it meant tickets to some music they love. Or if music is not your mum’s thing there are always a variety of plays, musicals, and even comedy shows on. This is obviously one the Dads need to be on top of. Or any teenage children with part time jobs…

Eating out. Or in.

Yes, this is a very popular choice, and so it should be. I don’t even consider taking Mum out for lunch on Mothers Day to be a gift. But if you want to avoid the overcrowded overpriced set menu on offer, you could prepare something really special at home. This idea works best if you know how to actually cook. Bad homemade craft is perfectly acceptable, bad homemade food might not go down as well.

An experience.

Think about making it a really special day out: high tea in the Queen Victoria Building Tea Room, or a facial and massage at a plush day spa. You could even go all out with something like a ride in a hot air balloon. Or for the foodie mum you could gift her a lesson at a famous bakery or cake shop, or even a cheese making class.

The gift of time.

It costs absolutely nothing and requires no effort: give mum the luxury of time. It doesn’t have to be on Mothers Day itself, but how about offering mum either a whole day or a few hours a week where you take care of things while she gets to indulge in something she never has time for. She might want to have a long soak in the bath, read for a while, watch a DVD box set of her favorite show, browse online (and get addicted to finding ever funnier ecards), or maybe even catch up on her blogging ;-)

Weird stuff that probably only I would like.

Headphones. Yes, I would be super happy with a nice big set of over-ear cans. Yes, I guess that makes me weird. Really comfy ones that I can wear for a couple of hours without getting sore ear cartilage. Admit it, as if the words noise cancelling don’t sound appealing? Or you could ever so kindly tackle that shitty job your mum has been avoiding. How much do you really love your mum? Enough to clean the oven? Or the big picture window with the annoying venetian blinds?

Whatever you do don’t listen to Google.

In the course of my research I thought I would search Google for “alternative Mothers Day gifts” to see what other people had to say on the matter. Some of the worst suggestions I came across were: buy mum a rug, suggest she organise her will, buy mum some vitamins, make her an early obituary to celebrate her life, buy mum a tree, buy mum a compost bin (to “have her worm farming before mothers day is over”), or you could even have the house painted.

So there you go. That wasn’t so bad was it? I might even go so far as to say that there are some pretty good ideas there.

And I’m not talking about the will.

However you spend the day I hope it’s a good one.

Til next time,

Ana. X.

*All images courtesy of the very addictive http://www.someecards.com

Bite Size Is Back!

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It’s been a while since a Bite Size serve, folks. Seems like the perfect way to ease back into blogging, I certainly didn’t expect that I would not write anything for so long!

I’ve actually had a few ideas or posts bubbling away in my head, and believe it or not, I honestly have not had the time to even begin so much as a draft. Well, I may have had a smidge of time here and there, but in seeking that balance between family, work, and blog I didn’t want to be staring at a computer during family time. The idea of balance has been the post I have really been trying to write about because it has been the big thing for me lately. But the trade off is that I have been super efficient home and work wise. And even though I don’t go out to paid work, I do consider the book-keeping, phone calls, and general running around I do most days for my Husband’s business (our business and livelihood) to be work. Plus I have a pretty hot boss ;-)

In the midst of planning this blogs makeover I was also planning my daughters birthday. So, Miss Thirteen is now Miss Fourteen! And I pulled off a surprise slumber party for her that was a great success. I very sneakily had her send me a text message from her friends phone a couple of months ago and saved the number to my contacts. Then I messaged her friend for a couple of other friends’ numbers and invited them to her party. The twist was that it was the sleepover party she really wanted and we told her was not going to happen, and I got her friends in on the secret without her suspecting a thing. She actually really hates surprises, but she was so beyond happy and excited to see her friends when she walked in the door! We dragged her mattress downstairs along with an insane amount of pillows, cushions, blankets, and throws to create a cozy little den. Complete with the big screen TV and a stack of junk food and horror movies at the ready. ‘Twas a great night.

Mattress? Check. Pillows and blankets? Check. Mister Four waiting for the fun to start? Check.

Mattress? Check. Pillows and blankets? Check. Mister Four waiting for the fun to start? Check.

Mister Four-going-on-Fourteen has been his usual entertaining self. In major news, he no longer kisses me hello or goodbye at pre-school. He explained it’s because he doesn’t want any of his friends to know. Know what exactly I wonder? He has also been busy soaking up the many lessons his older brothers have to share. Thankfully he doesn’t always get it right. He holds up his index finger rather than the middle one, but give him time. He’s a pretty smart cookie so he’ll get it soon enough. He is also obsessed with heroes and villains, and we had an “interesting” discussion the other day after he said that girls couldn’t be superheroes. But this is also the kid who says he wants to stay in bed all day and snuggle, so I must be doing something right…

Practice makes perfect...

Practice makes perfect…

Mothers Day is coming up this weekend here in Australia. I’m still proud of the post I wrote last year for all the mothers everywhere, but to be perfectly honest, I’m not feeling all warm and fuzzy about it this year. Mainly because of all the Mothers Day gift guide/shopping catalogues that are landing in my mailbox almost every day. I just don’t understand who still thinks that all a woman really wants is slippers and pajamas’s. Or a foot spa. Or some equally lame pamper pack. How about a voucher to a plush day spa for Mum and a friend? Or concert tickets? Or dinner somewhere nice? And the CD’s they aim at Mums? I could honestly hit someone at the suggestion that the perfect CD for Mum is Michael Buble. Or Celine Dion. Actually, this may end up being a post of it’s own now that I think about it…

Another post I was planning to write (and still might if I ever find the bloody time), was a letter to the folks at Apple. My not-even-one-year-old iPod died recently, and there was a ridiculous amount of time wasted in which I was instructed to uninstall and re-install various programs on my computer. It didn’t take me long to realise that the support technician on the other end of the phone was trying to pin the cause of the problem on my computer. What he seemed incapable of grasping was the fact that I had tried my iPod on TWO other computers in the house, and that my Husband’s iPod works perfectly on our shared computer. With the exact same iTunes library. The only reason that post is still just an idea is that, in all fairness, they did send me a replacement iPod pretty quickly. It did involve about five hundred and ninety-nine trips to the local authorized Apple repairer, but in all I had my new iPod less than two weeks after mine packed it in. The reason that the post may still happen is that paying almost $300 for a device that doesn’t even last for one year is still not okay.

And I reckon that will do for now. There are many other things I’d like to go on about, but probably shouldn’t ;-)

See you soon,

Ana. X

Happy 1st Birthday!

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So here we are, exactly one year to the day since I first hit publish on WordPress.

It was the week of my daughters birthday, my Husband was away for work for a whole week, I was having trouble sleeping, and figured if I’m going to be awake at 2 am I may as well do something interesting. Plus I had watched the entire box set of Sex And The City, assembled new furniture, re-arranged my drawers and cupboards, and desperately needed a new distraction ;-)

And boy did I find one.

Looking back, I started off at a sensible pace. I spent more time reading newly discovered blogs than posting my own, and it was all a bit of fun. Then we went on holidays for two months, during which time the blog was very much left to it’s own devices (i.e. totally ignored), with one brief post from the Dalmatian coast. It was when I got back that I realised just how much I had missed being able to express myself in this space.

So let’s talk about making up for lost time.

In my first five months, from May 2012 to September 2012, I published 27 posts.

In the next five months, from October 2012 to February 2013, I published 52 posts.

!!!!!!

Which, to put it mildly, is  a tad too obsessive. Not to mention the feeling that I was actually neglecting the flesh and blood people in my life in order to write about them for people I couldn’t even see. Not really so great.

So all of this led to the break of the last couple of weeks, which I have really enjoyed. The problem is that I love the blog link up’s with other blogs, which can lead to three or four link up’s a week, plus my own posts, which all adds up to far too much time spent in front of a computer. So I plan on dropping back to about three posts a week, and I am actually hoping for less. One or two quality posts would be nice. Plus I have the recipes I share on How It All Started In The Kitchen, which require little more than typing them up and adding a photo or two but still mean time at the computer rather than with the family.

So twelve months in I am still trying to find balance in my life, in all aspects of it in fact. I really love the fact that I have made friends through sharing my thoughts and feelings, and I am extremely humbled by the statistics: 14,450 hits, 574 comments, and a total of 258 followers. To me those numbers are WOW! Thanks to every single person who has ever taken a minute or two to read, like, comment, share, and follow. It’s a really warm and fuzzy feeling to think that people enjoy hearing what I have to share. (Baffling, but lovely).

So I would love it if you all stuck around for a little longer, and I will be back soon with a post full of earth shattering wit and intelligence.

Okay, maybe not. But I will be back soon, posting something.

Love, Ana. X

(And yes, I baked cupcakes for my blog’s birthday. Hip hip hooray).